one two three fourrrrnication!
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
