she woke up with a sticky ear
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
