4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
