I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
