I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Randomize