I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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