we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
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There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
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You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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