It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
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just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
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Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
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