I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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