I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
