he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
