brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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