You're completely useless in the revolution.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
My dick has a subreddit
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
