I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
