Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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