What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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