Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize