im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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