i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize