I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
