Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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