And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize