nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize