i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
