Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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