Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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