I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize