How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize