it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
