What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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