So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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