New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
