her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
