dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
