Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
