i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
