There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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