that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
he had hair everywhere except his balls
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
