If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Say something about gay babies.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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