I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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