is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize