She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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