I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
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