Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
