So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
my liver is dry heaving
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
