I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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