Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
