A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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