He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
