Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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