omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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