I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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