The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
