I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
