Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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