hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
