he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
