so explain again why im purple
no
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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