fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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