If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
