Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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