CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
